Top 6 Worst Major Australian Sporting Team Names
3. Melbourne Victory (Soccer)
The Victory… Really? What creative genius came up with that? You can’t be victory. It doesn’t even make sense. It’s such a lame, generic name; I don’t know how any of their supporters can feel connected to their club. Was it because it sounds a bit like Victoria? Is the embarrassment when they don’t actually achieve victory worse for Victory fans? At least call them Melbourne Victors so it makes sense. I didn’t think I would have them up this high on the list, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised that the name is just plain stupid. It must suck being a soccer fan in Melbourne. You get a choice between the Melbourne Victory or Melbourne Heart. I wonder how many just say “screw it, I’m supporting the AFL/NRL”. The other codes must be laughing.
2. Brisbane Bombers (Rugby League)
I know they are not a major club yet, but there’s a good chance they will be and the name is just too terrible to ignore. It combines all 3 aspects of what makes a name sh!t. 1: Lame Alliteration. 2: Name borrowed from an already established club (Essendon Bombers – AFL). 3: Team location name duplicate.
Firstly, we don’t need another team actually called Brisbane. We already have Brisbane. If they want to be successful, they have to distinguish themselves. Even something like South Brisbane would be enough. Secondly, why oh why the Bombers? It’s totally meaningless, and Essendon are the Bombers, come up with your own damn name! And what’s with the necessity for alliteration? Not many iconic Aussie teams use alliteration, yet when they were coming up with the name for this new club 10 out of the 16 options used alliteration! Argh! They claim that the name was voted for by the people, but apparently took out a trademark application for the name a month before voting opened. Would people really vote for such a crap name? (Mind you the other options weren’t much better). The Eastern Stingrays was my favourite actually. If this franchise does enter the NRL, I predict a massive failure.
1. Every Single Damned Big Bash Team (Cricket)
Honestly, there is not much to be said here, the names speak from themselves. Twenty20 was meant to be undergoing a shift in Australia so people took it more seriously. Instead they came up with this crock of a competition which ensured Twenty20 would remain a big gimmick. Two teams called Sydney, two called Melbourne. How are you meant to feel connected to one more than the other? Especially when you look at the names. The Sixers, Thunder, Renegades, Stars. Ugh. It doesn’t get any better: Adelaide Strikers, Brisbane Heat, Hobart Hurricanes, Perth Scorchers. Manufactured bullsh!t, superficial nonsense.
